For the past 6 months or so sheer will and determination have been the means by which I have been able to accomplish ANYTHING in my life. However, lately my motivation has been wavering slightly. This has become concerning as I have a lot of stuff to do right now and goofing off right now would be a VERY BAD IDEA. However, given my present circumstances I actually remain proud of my current level of motivation and here's why [as illustrated by the story of my life last night...]
Last night I was sitting in the library working on a paper that was due at 8am this morning. The mere fact this paper was due at 8am signaled to me (and apparently a good chuck of my class who were also there in the library) that the professor pretty much expected the Hail Mary all night-er from us.
Around 7:30pm, I observed 3 male friends of mine (working on the same assignment) making bets regarding paper airplanes and debating the use of a coat hanger in a particular cinema master piece (American Psycho). Though this was a tempting distraction and a slight blow to my motivation, I powered through and a short time later I ACTUALLY felt confident enough with the condition of MY work to pack up my belongings and head home for the night. (I wasn't actually done, just felt like I could finish up on my train ride home and then proof read for about a 1/2 hour upon reaching my destination).
I was pleasantly surprised with this outcome. Earlier in the day I had set a deadline for myself, but I am usually the type of person who expands my work to fill (and usually over flow) the amount of time I give myself to do something so I hadn't actually expected to be able to go home at the time I had set for myself.
Feeling very pleased with myself I walked to the train where I was encountered with a 20 min. delay. Blow number 2 to my motivation, but I held firm. "No problem" I thought to myself and broke out with my lap top "here is as good a place as anywhere to work on my analysis." 25 mins. later the train appeared, i got on, sat down spread out my sources and continued feverishly writing.
After 3 stops the very same man whose music I had the pleasure of listening to (from 3 rows behind him) during my morning commute gets on the mostly empty train and sits next to me music blaring as loud as ever. Strike 3, motivation is wavering. Easy enough... move right? Oh yea, simple. At this point I have 15 different sources spread over the seat in a very precise order. THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO is move. BUT... it appears that or listening to Bruno Mar's Amazing for the 4th time via this man's headphones are my only options.I move to a different seat and 15 mins. later am back to writing.
I arrive at my stop around 9:30 feeling confident that I will be able to finish the paper and be in bed by 10:30 without a problem. Get in my car, key in the ignition, CAR WILL NOT START, battery is dead. The final blow. [On a sidebar this is not actually an un-expected occurance, I actually should have gotten a new battery about 6 months ago, I knew this was comming, but was unable to motivate myself to handle it at the time, THEREFORE, my lack of motivation actually led to this very instance].
Thankfully, Steve (boyfriend) was able to drive to the train station and jump my car. AND AMAZINGLY, my paper actually got finished AND I got to sleep and it was all accomplished before midnight.
Which brings me to my point, SOMETIMES the only thing you can rely on is your sheer will and determination. SO if you don't have any of that in your life right now, YOU SHOULD GO GET SOME. Life is always going to throw roadblocks and distractions your way. Sometimes what you need to get done is going to be the last thing you ACTUALLY WANT to do. But, if you really want anything to happen YOU need to find some motivation and make it happen for yourself.
Good luck out there!
